Eol's story
by Tinuviel-luthien
Summary: A story from Eol's view when Aredhel and Maeglin abandon the darkness of Nan Elmoth
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: The characters and settings belong to JRR Tolkien and I make no profit from this writing.  
  
Thank to Itarille and Nerdanel for beta reading  
  
- Enjoy -  
  
*Eol's story*  
  
I passed over the last mountain pass. I was weary from my travels. I rode in haste for eight days with little rest so that I might arrive home swiftly. I reached my shadows in Nan Elmoth at nightfall. I felt secure under my own trees once again. While approaching my home I heard voices speaking in the forbidden tongue. I peered cautiously from the trees and saw the firelight glow upon the faces of my wife and son. They laughed merrily, the tongue of the Noldor was rolling off their lips.  
  
Confusion filled me. I had supported both my wife and son for many years. I had brought home beautiful jewelry from my travels for my fair Aredhel and now as Maeglin grew to the statue of a young man, I had taught him all that there was to be known in the trade of craftsmanship. Yet while I am away they are purposely disloyal to me. They defy my wishes as if I don't exist.  
  
Feeling betrayed and angry, I stormed from the bushes and in the tongue of the Teleri I yelled, "I make haste to be home three days early. I took only the rests that I truly needed on my journey. Yet I arrive home to hear my wife and son deep in conversation about the Noldor and speaking in the forbidden tongue!" My thoughts were pounding through my head. I walked towards Aredhel and threw her against a nearby tree. "How long have you been teaching our son these dreadful words? How long is it since you decided to forgo your loyalty to your husband?"  
  
I turned and Maeglin's eyes bored into me. An uneasy feeling took over my body. My hands felt clammy and I turned back to look at Aredhel. Her face was white with fear. I felt confused, I was never good at expressing myself through words. I dipped into my bag and pulled out a necklace. The golden chain shimmered in the light of the fire. The intricate designs of the dwarves were beautiful. While placing the necklace around Aredhel's neck, she remained as still as a stone statue. She did not breathe nor did she look me in the eye. "Forgive me," I whispered as I kissed her cheek. She quickly pulled away from me and Maeglin rushed over to her side. I felt unwanted and foolish. I turned and walked into my house, my footsteps echoed through the empty rooms.  
  
While unpacking I heard the muffled sound of Aredhel's tears and the quiet voice of Maeglin soothing her. For so many years I had pretended that I understood them. I lied to myself and told myself Maeglin was ever thoughtful, I ignored the fact that he was bearing everlasting sadness. The spark of joy that was in the faces of Aredhel and Maeglin around the fire was rare when I was home. It had been years since I had seen Aredhel smile like that; I wish she would more often. I knew I was the cause of her torment, if only she could understand my reasons. I wished to express my feelings of devotion to her. But it's impossible, the words get mixed up and I choke over my feelings.  
  
Later that night Aredhel and Maeglin walked in hand in hand. Aredhel kissed Maeglin on the cheek and whispered something to him. I could not understand her words, but I assumed it was in the tongue of Noldor. I could not bring myself to face my actions so I silently slipped outside to the fire to avoid talking with Aredhel. The ambers still glowed as I sat down and let the heat penetrate into my body. While placing another log onto the fire something gold caught my eye. Realizing that Aredhel had thrown the necklace I gave her into the fire despair clouded over me. I could no longer escape with jewels; I had to confront her and heals our wounds with words. If only I could make her understand the joys of Nan Elmoth, and let her see that I truly love her. I continued staring at the fire until the last ember lost its heat. The darkness consumed me as I sat deep in thought throughout the night. 


	2. Submerged from darkness

Disclaimer: The characters and settings belong to JRR Tolkien and I make no profit from this writing.  
  
- Enjoy -  
  
*Eol's story Chapter two*  
  
I sat by the fire, the cool air enclosed around me. For the first time the darkness became suffocating, my sprits sunk into the lowest despair. My wife and son had betrayed me. Slowly I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.   
  
I awoke hours later and wandered aimlessly through the woods. I climbed up hills and passed over trickling brooks. The recognizable woods of Nan Elmoth became a maze. I could not escape it and return home. I did not want to speak with my son again, I knew I would be to rash and I would damage our relationship even more.   
  
I came to a small clearing, my memory jolted. This spot in the woods seemed to carry a lighter atmosphere. I sat down and suddenly my memories flooded back into my body. This had been the place when I had first saw Aredhel. Her white graceful body weary from her helpless travels and her face was so delicate and divine. My mind became bewitched by her beauty and I desired her more than anything. She was fairer than any jewel I could craft. Before Aredhel I was content to create beautiful metals but now she brought more meaning to my life. I could not let her go, for I would go insane. I needed her, my metals couldn't bring me that same passion.   
  
I hurried back to my home, and I rushed inside. Aredhel and Maeglin were just about to eat, I sat down. Silence filled the room, and I felt awkward, like I was intruding on something. "I did not know you were planning on joining us. I did not plan enough food for three." Aredhel spoke to me with a monotone voice, she did not show any love but she did not show me hate.   
  
I hadn't eaten a proper meal in days, yet I replied nonchalantly, "I'm not hungry." I turned to go to my forge. "Son, when you are finished would you come join me in the forge. I have learnt much when I was away." Afraid to accept a refusal from my son I headed to my forge without awaiting his answer.   
  
I light a fire and began to gather my tools. I found some beautiful silver which I had traded from the dwarves. Soon after Maeglin joined me. He said nothing, but that wasn't abnormal. I wanted to start a conversation but my mind couldn't find anything worthwhile to say. An hour passed, we continued working side by side like parallel lines in silence. I could see that Maeglin was becoming frustrated with the sword he was making. I took the sword from him and attempted to correct him. I looked up at eyes, he was staring out the small window of my forge. "Are you even listening to me Maeglin." I commanded.   
  
"Yes father" he answered. He turned away from the window. Why was my son obsessed with light? I didn't understand, the one thing that I despised he made a point of loving.   
  
I felt my frustration rise in my throat, why couldn't we have the perfect father-son relationship. Suddenly I yelled out at him, "If you insist of opposing everything I like leave now and end your bitter suffering" Maeglin's eyes looked at me with confusion and fear. He turned and seized the opportunity to escape the forge. I regretted those words the second they slipped off my tongue, little did I know what ideas they would later provoke. I tried to call him back but it was useless, he heard my pleas but he ignored him. I knew I had to leave again tomorrow for Nogrod, for feast of the dwarves.   
  
I approached Aredhel that night, "Please forgive me, I must leave tomorrow ere dawn comes. But await my return for I will home for many days, I will not let myself be consumed by the metals in my forge." Aredhel gave me a half smile, her face sent joy throughout my body.   
  
"You must sleep then, if you insist on waking so early." I nodded and turned towards our room. I was disappointed in her response but the smile on her face had brought back hope. I would go to the east but I would surprise them and return early, maybe that would bring another smile on her face.   
  
****   
  
A fortnight later I returned to the woods of Nan Elmoth, throughout the entire journey my heart had been aching for my family. True to my own promise I returned a week earlier than I had originally told my wife and son. I gathered all speed after I passed though the borders of my realm, some dark void urged me on.   
  
My footsteps echoed as I walked through my empty house. "Aredhel, Maeglin" I called out, but my voice was answered with silence.   
  
I stormed outside my house, one of my servants lingered outside, "Where did my wife and son go!" I commanded, my voice was rising with my anxiety.   
  
"They went to seek Celegorm and Curufin sons of Feanor in Himlad. Two nights have passed since their departure."   
  
"You despicable creature! How dare you let them wander free when you know my wishes. They were to abide within the borders of Nan Elmoth, shunning all sunlight." I threw him on the ground at the trunk of a nearby tree in my fury.   
  
Without another word I mounted my horse and headed for Himlad. I rode in haste driven by my hate for the Noldor and betrayal by my wife and son. My memory wandered to my last moments with Aredhel before I left, she had smiled at the notion of my return. The joy which I felt then was now replaced with confusion and anger, had she been planning to leave and merely mocking my ignorance or did she truly smile at the thought of my return. The sun rose over the horizon but I did not stop because of the light, my mind and heart drove me forward, I had the right to reclaim what once was my own. 


	3. Hunting for desire

Disclaimer: The characters and settings belong to JRR Tolkien and I make no profit from this writing.  
  
Thanks to Nerdanel and Itarille for beta reading  
  
- Enjoy -  
  
* Eöl's Story Chapter 3 *  
  
I rode with all force and furry from the gates of Himlad. Anger and humiliation split my veins. My fists clutched the reins of my steed, Faroth with such strength and fury that my nails tore the flesh of my hands. I had stood defencelessly while Curufin, one of the so-called princes of Beleriand, ripped me apart. His taunting laughs still ring through my head, beating like a steady drum in my mind, however it was that steady beat that urged me on. I rode with all haste to the shadows, but not to the shadows that the son of Fëanor had counselled me to go to. I rode to the place filled with blinding light, but interwoven within this light is the stench and shadow of death and betrayal. Long have I avoided the slayers of my kin but I refuse to bow down and let them steal and destroy the only ones whom I can ever love, and name my family.  
  
I refused to allow myself a rest for neither food nor drink. My mouth grew dry and no longer did any moisture linger on my chapped lips, blood dried between the cracks of my mouth but I did not feel this pain. My hair flew behind me in a fury, battling with the treacherous wind. It became matted but I took no notice of my physical appearance. The only care I had was the finding of my wife and son and obtaining the desires within my soul. However I did feel the pain of humiliation from the Noldor sinking through me, degrading my mind, and causing a continual accumulation of tension within my body. These interior pains were far worse than any of the exterior obstacles. I rode with such swiftness across the plain that I appeared to be nothing more than a mere shadow moving at a great speed.  
  
As time sped by I began to lose hope, and, as I entered Brithiach, I began to question the purpose of my quest. As my sprits dimmed, questions began to plague my thoughts. Why search for those who have betrayed you and lead you to complete humiliation? Why search for those who are no longer loyal to you and take joy in defying your greatest wishes? Why hunt in vain sacrificing all others, sacrificing yourself to find those who hate you? These thoughts slowly took over my mind, as I halted Faroth, in a small clearing. He took the rest willingly as I dismounted.  
  
I felt as though I could not contain my frustration or anger any longer, I was about to yell, allowing my voice to echo through the woods, but at the last moment I constrained myself. I did not want to have my presence noticed; there were few people in these regions that I could trust. These lands were filled with ruthless assassins who destroyed the beauty and resources of our land. I did not want to meet them for I knew my actions would be treacherous, and I would not find much pardon within their laws.  
  
Suddenly Faroth neighed in the distance; the useless beast never liked to be left alone. Annoyed and frustrated I turned and headed back towards the clearing. A branch hung down blocking my path, and I broke it off its tree, finally allowing my anger to exit. My anger took over my arms, my legs, and my mind. The world around me started spinning. I swung the branch at my stupid beast; it had probably betrayed me as well and led me astray. Faroth had probably fallen under the enchantment of Aredhel like all others who looked upon her. Her eyes glowed with a light more incredible than I have ever seen, even among the other Noldor. There was a light that was bewitching in her beauty, which released her immense powers that I don't think she was even aware of. Her mere memory deteriorated my consciousness, her face filled my sight, I saw her mouth merged into a small smile. Desire was renewed in my heart. Faroth neighed again, and his sound brought me back to reality. The ground below me was stained red, my eyes raised to the wound I had caused on Faroth's back. It was at that moment I realized I had to continue, for my desires would drive me insane if I did not fulfill them. Never would the face of Aredhel leave my mind, never would my torture end.  
  
Suddenly the sound of another horse sent a surge of fear through my body. I mounted Faroth despite his wound, for I did not want to be found. I tried to ride in the opposite direction but Faroth persisted; he kept turning to the direction of the other horses. I listen carefully to their whinnies, and at last an unexpected smile broke across my face: I had found my stolen horses. Faroth rode with haste towards them. Guilt filled my heart for I realized I had been deceived by my own insanity; Faroth had remained loyal to me. I dismounted and tied Faroth with my other horses. I opened my bag and quickly tended to his wound. I abandoned my bag and took only enough to fulfill the barest vital needs for the last part of my journey.  
  
I headed by foot tracking the path I deemed my wife and son had taken. Faroth neighed once more, I turned back to look at the horses, I paused and my eyes lingered on my bag. Inside was a poisoned javelin, I always carried it with me on my journeys. Ever since the return of Morgoth the woods were filled with vile creatures. I turned back to retrieve it but not just to protect myself from the creatures of the woods. The task I was about to complete was not easy, I would have to withstand masses of my greatest foe, and my conscience told me that my fortunes would go ill. I stared hard off into the distance and through pure chance, I caught a glimpse of a white glow near the entrance of a cave. I slipped the javelin inside my jacket and with haste headed towards the light entering the mountains, for at last my greatest jewels had been found. 


End file.
